Essay 1 Workshop

1. Thesis: A. Restate the thesis in your own words. If the thesis is a question and not an assertion, make it an assertion. Make sure the words “although” and "because" are in it.

Although the housing market is still volatile, home ownership is a good investment because owning can build equity, it can be cheaper than renting, and owning a home means the home can eventually be sold for a profit or a bigger house.

B. Does the thesis state the author's position on a controversial topic? Is it at the end of the first paragraph?

Yes, the author’s position is stated clearly at the end of the first paragraph.

2. Reasons: List below the author's reasons for holding his or her position. Are they listed in the thesis, or in the body of the essay? They should be listed in the thesis, and expanded upon in the body of the essay.

A. Owning a house can build equity
B. Over a few years owning a home can be cheaper than renting
C. Owning a home means the home can eventually be sold for a profit or a bigger house

All of these points were listed in the first paragraph, and were also expanded upon in the “body” of the essay.

3. Audience: Who is the author's audience? Do they already agree with the author, or is the author writing to the opposition? How can you tell? Give specific examples.

This essay would be good for people who are trying to decide whether to rent or buy a home. I would say that the majority of the readers of this essay would be undecided as far as their position on this topic, but there would be a few readers who would disagree with his arguments. You can tell that the author is writing against the opposition because he states what the opposing argument might be, and gives his own counter argument.

4. Counterargument: List the counterarguments (arguments of the author’s oppositions) used in the essay (there should be at least three). Does the author adequately address these arguments? Do you think there are other arguments that could be addressed? Do you see any logical fallacies?

A. “The argument can be made that one could put what they would save from the difference on renting as to owning a home and invest it.”

The author addresses the argument by saying that doing so would “require very discipled (I think it was supposed to be disciplined?) financial work and being in a cheap rental unit.”

B. “Some may still say that renting is the cheaper way because of the other expenses that is paid by the owner of the rental property like taxes, insurance, and maintenance.”

This argument is addressed by saying that most property managers pass expenses down to their renters.

I may be wrong, but I don’t know if I would keep the section about how renting is good if the renter is planning on moving or rent is cheap. To me this seems kind of counter-productive because you’re making an argument for the other side. I would however, keep the part where you talk about where the value of owning a home comes from.

C. Section 3 seems like a paragraph of facts that would be a better fit for the “building equity” section. I think you might run into a hard time distinguishing between your first and third points because they are related to each other. If you wanted to keep your third point the same, I would focus mostly on the benefit of a buyer being able to upgrade their home. This could be a tricky argument to support though, because the opposition could argue that not everyone makes money when they sell their home.

5. Title:

There is currently no title for the essay. Your audience will most likely be renters looking into buying a home, so I would try to focus on that fact, and come up with a title that would be attractive for them. Maybe, “Landlord Getting You Down? Why Not Be Your Own!”

6. Introduction: Is there a catchy lead sentence? What is it? If there isn't one, what would you suggest?

The lead sentence isn’t necessarily a catchy one, but it is an interesting statement that would probably attract renters who are thinking about buying a home. The lead sentence is, “In the long term owning a home makes a far better financial sense than renting.”

7. Conclusion: How does the author conclude the essay? What do you think of it?

There is currently no conclusion for the essay. Just remember to restate your main points, and a teacher once told me that the goal of the conclusion is to keep your audience thinking about the topic after they’re done reading. So keep that in mind!

8. Flow/Transitions: Does each paragraph expand upon the thesis? Do the paragraphs flow? Which paragraphs have bumpy transitions?

The rough draft wasn’t quite in essay form. The author had all the main points and arguments in the body, but they did not have any transitional sentences. The body did fallow the sequence of the thesis statement, which was good.

You have an interesting subject, and a good rough draft, my only other observation is to watch the grammatical structure in your final draft. Good luck!